Magic hits a barrier in Beijing

So I am on the plane to Beijing. The plane starts to shake as some turbulence begins. I tighten my belt and hold tighter to the arm rests…a baby sits in a seat across from me laughing and as I think everyone will start screaming a man to my left jumps up (I think it’s because he also thinks the plane’s about to go down) but because he has spilt a cup of orange juice onto his pants. He casually stands up in the aisle and spends time brushing it off with a menu annoyed that this has occurred. The plane is wobbling and jolting. No one seems to notice but me.

Lunch comes out. The hostess goes out the back and someone brings me out a hand full of things- chocolates, some fruit, a bit of cheese..Great. A few hours pass and after three movies and some sponge bob, dinner is served. I look over and the man has spilt a cup of juice on himself again..with he’s leg spread up on the chair, he stands wiping the juice off with a napkin.

In Beijing I wave a taxi. We are in a traffic jam for an hour.  I decide to walk and the rain gets colder so I get into another taxi. He drives into a small street to see where we have to go on his map which meant we couldn’t turn around to go the right way so we drove back past where I began before I got in the first one.

It was all worth it because when I arrived at Knight bar, (a little magic bar in Beijing) a magician (Martin) and I showed each other tricks as we hung out at this awesome place dedicated to the art of magic.


Dane and Martin at Knight Bar, Beijing 25/04/2019

I leave and wait on the street for a taxi. A tuk tuk pulls and I show the man the address in Chinese. We negotiate a price and I get in the back. He drops me off to another guy who looks drunk. He pushes me into an enclosed box with a seat inside in the back of his motor tuk tuk..and locks the metal door from the outside. There’s no latch for me to escape. We start driving. I’m starting to worry a little. I start getting paranoid and thinking will he drive me somewhere and will I lose some money or organs. “It’s time to make an escape”

I don’t know Chinese and he doesn’t know English. I start feeling the door to see if it could be kicked off. I don’t recognise the street we’re on after 15’s pouring rain and freezing at this point.

This is when I notice a metal road barrier coming up. We are going straight for it.A very unusual it like the bat illusion? Why are we going straight for it? I think my eyes are playing tricks on me but we hit it and thud to a complete stop. I realise I have been jolted forward into the front of the box carrier and I’m covered in blood. My nose feels broken and I’m in a daze. The driver gets up off the road three metres in front of the vehicle and opens the door. I fall out and stagger in shock at what has happened. He must had fallen asleep. Everyone on the street watches us in the pouring rain. I don’t know how bad I’ve been hurt. He’s fine but panicking and he hands me a used tissue. I give it back to him and he insists I use his dirty tissue. I hold my jacket against my face as I realise I must have banged my knee too..I’m telling him to call an ambulance. We are yelling at each other in different languages. Everyone just watches. He leads me pushing his buggy as I hobble along up to our ankles in water on the foot path.

He then points up a street and as I look he quickly runs to his tuk tuk looking back at me with a very fearful face, gets in and speeds off. Everyone I pass turns pail. My white shirt is now red. Three different police officers just look at me and close their windows..I see myself in the reflection and I look like I’ve been in a crash. I finally find a hospital. (Never give up)

The hospital floor looks like a horror movie set with other people’s blood drops on the ground. They send me to the basement where a radiology man waits. There is a human sized coffin thing which he points to for me to lie down. As I step towards it I feel a crunch under my foot which looks to be a part of someone’s tooth. I lay down, close my eyes as I feel the heat of it on my face. This keeps going and I’m not sure where the man is or when I can get out. We can’t communicate and now I can’t see. As I lie there It feels like my whole body is being scanned and I realise my mobile is in my pocket..will it blow up against my leg? Finally I hear him say something and the sound of machine stops.


I end up out in the rain again trying to wave down a taxi..everyone who slows down takes one look at me (nose piece bandaged up and still covered in blood) takes off in horror. I go back in and one of the doctors who knows a little English says to get a tuk tuk. I say that’s why I’m not home yet because last time I got one I ended up in hospital.

long story short I didn’t break my nose just badly cut and bruised and concussion. Some people ask if the night of the crash was disturbing and the answer is yes. Yes it was.




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